Return
by KarismaJulian4Ever
Summary: A Reela fic foremost, but some Neelant. Gallant returns once more to take care of some unfinished business. Season 12 spoilers and a slight Season 13 spoiler. COMPLETE!


The clock was ticking loudly and then stopped.

"You need to choose," Ray said harshly. "Whether you're going to move on or not,"

Gallant appeared next to the doorway of Neela's (formerly Abby's apartment) and watched the scene appear before him, as a ghostly apparition. He knew he was sent here to take care of some unfinished business, but what unfinished business that was, he didn't know.

He saw his widow lean against the door, helpless as she stared up at the man leaning over her. It was Ray Barnett. Neela's roommate. And friend.

Gallant never really trusted Ray's intentions toward Neela and it looked like he was right. In a way, he always suspected something from the very beginning. When Neela and he had first broken the news of their impending marriage to the ER, he would have sworn that he saw a shadow cross Ray's face. It was immediately replaced by a smile. But now Gallant knew that Ray had been unhappy and probably devastated.

"Ray, I asked you to leave," Neela said softly, almost brokenly. Gallant almost moved into the corridor, ready to hit Ray, until he realized he was still a ghost. He sighed deeply. Why had he been sent back? Why did he need to see Neela in pain? What was this all for? Hadn't his parting words on the videotape been enough?

"Do you love him?" Ray asked quietly.

Neela turned her head and stared at the blank wall opposite her. "I am not going to answer that," she said with finality.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel anything for me. That Gates is the one you want. I don't think you do, but tell me at least that. And I'll leave you alone,"

Neela looked straight up at Ray. "I don't feel anything for you," she said firmly, looking into his gray-green eyes.

Ray stepped back, almost stunned. But he said not a word, and turned on his heel. Neela backed away from the door. Giving her one final look, he left, swinging the door shut.

-----

At that moment, Gallant saw Neela collapse on the floor, crying her heart out.

Gallant was slightly puzzled. Why would she cry if she felt nothing for Barnett? And again, why had Gallant been sent back?

It was then he heard the door open again and saw Abby appear. "Neela, what's wrong?" Gallant heard Abby ask in surprise.

"Go away, Abby," Neela said, brushing away the tears.

Abby Lockhart though, Gallant knew from experience, was always very determined. And the determination came through that night.

"No, Neela," Abby said and settled on the floor next to Neela. "You need to talk to someone. Up until now, you've refused to. But this time, you got to. You got to let it out."

"Today is Michael's 1st death anniversary," Neela said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Abby said gently. Gallant felt a tug in his own heart. But he knew from the scenario that had occurred, Neela wasn't _only_ crying about his death.

Did Neela love Barnett? A surprised thought jumped into his mind. Was that it? But what did he have to do with it?

"No, it's not just that," Neela said. "I just told Ray I didn't love him."

----

Abby's eyes widened slightly. Although Abby knew Neela was dating Gates, she also knew about the depth and breadth of Neela and Ray's relationship. And in a way, she believed in her heart that Neela was on the rebound for Gates, but would eventually return to Ray. They were made for each other. Ray had been there for Neela through thick and thin. It had been him who nursed Neela throughout the initial months of Michael's death, when Neela began drinking heavily and not eating. Ray had forced-fed her every day. It was he who monitored her improvement. Abby had initially characterized Ray as the frivolous sort, but with his care for Neela, had begun to think otherwise. She remembered the day she was there when Neela first collapsed in the hospital:

_Neela hit the floor in a dead faint. Abby rushed to her, only to have Ray beat her to it. He kneeled over her, checking her vitals. Lifting her up, he carried Neela to a hospital bed. There, he remained close to her. After finishing up his shift, Ray had slept next to Neela in an armchair. He indomitably refused to leave her. Although Abby had tried to persuade him otherwise, he remained there._

_When Neela woke up, both Abby and Ray were there. She smiled weakly at them. "Am I going to be all right?"_

_Ray at that point touched Neela's hand. "Yes," he said. "You'll be all right. You're going to live again."_

After that, Ray pushed Neela. He took her out to baseball games and to gigs. Neela began to laugh again, after so many months. And Abby credited Ray for the transformation. Ray and Neela had grown even closer.

Abby had seen it.

_  
"We are going to see my former band play," Ray announced one afternoon as their shift ended._

"_Hopefully they've improved with you gone," Neela ribbed him._

"_Hey!" Ray said. "You're just lucky today that I haven't spilled something on that blue-green shirt of yours that you love so much,"_

"_You wouldn't," Neela gasped._

"_I would too," Ray started after her and Abby smiled, as she heard Neela laugh as she ran. _

----

But then Neela started to push him slowly away. Neela began to go out with Tony Gates, the charming Gulf War vet that was going through med school. Abby had seen the hurt in Ray's eyes, and was inclined to call Neela selfish. But then, she heard Neela begin to speak:

"I lied, you know," Neela stared at the blank wall ahead of her again.

Gallant was surprised himself, as he heard Neela. A part of him was saddened, but in a way, glad. In many ways, maybe Ray could take care of Neela when he, Gallant, could not. And he knew that he was finer than Ray.

"But why?" Abby asked. "You know he loves you and you love him. Neela, he's been there for you throughout everything. And I see the way he looks at you and you look at him."

"Because I'll drive him away and I don't think I can deal with that,"

"You kind of already did," Abby rolled her eyes.

"You don't understand. Anyone I have ever loved has left me, Abby. Michael left for Iraq and got himself killed. I probably drove him away, because I just wanted everything to be perfect. To be happy. And he didn't want what I could give him. So he left…and Ray…"

"Ray?" Abby prompted.

Neela wiped away more tears that fell down her cheeks. "I don't want to sound sacrilegious. But you know when you lose someone you love, you cherish love even more, I guess. I never thought I'd fall in love again after Michael. I was attracted to Ray, for sure. But now, I love him even more than what I thought was possible. I think I love Ray more than I loved Michael. It's like Ray is ingrained with me. I knew him before I fell for him. That wasn't really the case with Michael."

"And I can't lose him, Abby, I can't. I lost Michael and I barely survived that. What if I'm with Ray and he leaves? You know him and his one girl a night policy. I wouldn't survive that heartbreak,"

"He's changed Neela. You know he loves you. He spent the night in the hospital when you were so ill. He wouldn't leave. He refused to,"

"I know," Neela whispered. "But I'm so scared. I don't know how it happened. I don't even know when or why it did so quickly. It just did,"

"Neela, you have to take that chance again," Abby touched Neela's arm. "If you don't, you'll never know love again. And I know you wouldn't be as happy with Gates as you would be with Ray."

"I just can't, Abby. It's easier said than done," Neela got up from the floor and paced up and down the hall. "I just think---think---it'd be better if you left."

Abby got up. "I'm here if you need me," she said.

----

Gallant was shocked by it. Now he finally knew what he was here for. Neela thought she drove him away? It was never that. In a way, he had become possessed by his duty. And that was why he returned to Iraq. Not because he loved her any less. And she needed to know that.

He saw Neela lie on the sofa and her eyes flutter shut. He walked toward her and whispered, "Neela."

She muttered.

"Hon, it's me, Michael…" his voice almost broke, but he kept his emotions still. "I need you to know that it wasn't your fault I went back to Iraq. It wasn't because you drove me away. Never. You need to know that….and you know how I wanted you to move on? I want you to move on with someone you love more than me. Someone you can't live without." He squeezed her hand tightly and kissed her forehead.

"Michael," she whispered. "Thank you,"

"Goodbye Neela," he said, and a blue mist surrounded him. It swirled and swirled until he disappeared.

----

Ray entered his apartment and slumped against the door. He had tried so hard with Neela. But it was useless.

Ray never knew when he first fell for Neela. But once he did, for the first time in his life, he couldn't let go. Yes, he had been a flirt and been with a lot of women. But Neela was different. She was someone he could always go to about anything. He became increasingly more reliant on her as time went on. When his band kicked him out, he had sunk into a mini-depression, but she had been there. Neela became the one constant in his life in Chicago. Even through the bumps of her marrying and leaving the apartment, they were still always together through everything. He had become the shoulder she once was. And with time, he had matured. And with that maturity, Ray had become worthy of her.

It almost broke his heart when she started dating Gates, even when she knew he had feelings for her. And when he confronted her, she then said she didn't love him.

Well, that was life. Just like Barry would never get his Helen, he would never have his Neela.

Then he heard a knock on his door. Who would knock at the door at 3 in the morning? He wondered. He heard the knock again as it became more insistent.

When he opened it, he got the surprise of his life.

Neela was standing at the door, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and jeans. They looked at each other, both wordless. Tears overflowed in her eyes. Neela now knew it was right.

Then, Neela launched herself into Ray's arms. He enclosed her and they stood there, in comfort and in a newfound happiness.

They heard a clock ticking. It symbolized the start of their new life, together.


End file.
